I have just come out of the roughest week I’ve had in such a very long time…
So many things fell apart this past week. And now I’m coming out of from beneath the misery.
I got off work tonight earlier than usual. Technically, it was *on time*, but it’s a pretty rare thing for me to get off at the proper time. Got off at 11, and my boss, Jack, asked if I wanted to get a bite to eat. He said, “I’m buyin’.”
How can you refuse that?
So, we went to IHOP, and got to talkin. He asked me what’s been going on, said I seemed off all day. So I told him. My girlfriend left me this past weekend. And, my family’s restaurant that’s been around longer than I’ve been alive closed down this past weekend. And, though it’s insignificant by comparison, my phone broke, laptop broke, radio got stolen, and car started acting up in the past week. It’s been rough.
We talked and talked, and he shared some stories and some situations he’s been having difficulty with as well. His lady still lives down south, in Georgia, so when he moved up here to Chicago, he lost a lot of the connection with her, and it’s made things so difficult… there’s a lot of details and such in his story, but that’s his story to tell, not mine.
Anyway, we talked so much, and he really opened up, leveled with me, let down the facade he puts on when he’s at work. I did too. It was just man to man, heart to heart. And really, it was all I needed. I didn’t even know I needed it until I had it. It meant the world to me, especially considering I don’t have a dad, or any positive father-figure, or any prominent male role-model in my life at all. Jack stepped up for me today. And at the end of it, hours after we had already finished our meal, I thanked him for it. I told him how much I needed it. He answered back that he probaby needed it just as much. He’s alone up here, and I told him how I’ve thought about that, and I wonder and worry for him sometimes. It really meant a lot to him. He said, “So, you’re a real human, a real man, with a real heart. And I’m proud to call you a friend.” And it caught me off guard in a way, but it was an incredible moment.
We left the restaurant. As we walked through the parking lot towards our cars, I looked up and what I saw was incredible. There were three deer, does, prancing through the little patches of green in the medians between parking lots, so beautiful and graceful. They refused to touch the asphalt. The lept around and they stopped by these three pine trees and just kinda hid there. They slowly came out, and they stared at us, and we stared at them. It felt like a really weirdly significant moment. Jack and I were laughing, though, and just kept saying, “No shit.” Eventually they let off into the distance. We had no idea what to make of it. I said, “Well maybe it’s a sign.” And I laughed. And Jack said, “Of what? That things are gonna get for us? I don’t even know what to think of that.” I replied, “When I said, ‘maybe it’s a sign’, the first thing you said is that it’ll get better, so I think you think it’ll get better for us.” He liked that a lot and we both laughed.
After a bit more talking, we both got in our cars and left. On the way home, I laughed and damn near started crying; it was such a strange, yet incredible night. I had so much thought and emotion rushing through me in so many different ways, thinking about my lost-left-handed-lover, thinking about “what is the symbolism being deer?”, and also “what is the symbolism of three of them?” And thinking about how much spending some heart to heart time with Jack meant to me, and how much it meant to him. He gave me so much perspective on my issues that I don’t think I could have found anywhere else. And, now I think of the lost-lefty-love and my hope has been re-bolstered. Revitalized.
When I got home, I looked up some of the symbolism behind deer, and the number three, and encounters with deer. What I found struck me so profoundly.
The headline of the first article that I found read:
Stunned. Amazed. Enraptured and euphoric. It fit my situation so perfectly.
“Deer’s medicine includes gentleness in word, thought and touch. The ability to listen, grace and appreciation for the beauty of balance. Understanding of what’s necessary for survival, power of gratitude and giving, ability to sacrifice for the higher good, connection to the woodland goddess, alternative paths to a goal.”
“Maybe the most effective way to summarize the lessons of these beliefs, is to say that only when we move through life in the spirit of love for all beings can we melt the barriers that separate us from others, from other life forms, and from the beautiful mystery which is our own magical and spiritual gift.
By observing the ways in which deer behave, it is possible to see what amazing qualities – or powers – they possess. From the deer we can learn that the gift of gentleness and caring can help us overcome and put aside many testing situations. Only love, both for ourselves and for others, helps us understand the true meaning of wholeness.
If a deer crosses your path, this may show you that you are a very compassionate, gentle and loving person. If you don’t have these qualities, then consider if you have a problem that needs addressing. Are you facing a challenge in your life, whether with a fellow human being or a delicate situation? If you are feeling negative emotions such as anger, try letting go. Think about whether a gentler and more loving approach can sort the issue out. It may be necessary to speak the truth, this is best done with kindness and from the heart, this will generally give a better result.”
“Deer teach us how powerful it is to be of gentle demeanour, to exert keen observation and sensitivity. Deer are in tune with nature and all it comprises. They are sacred carriers of peace and show those with this power animal how to open their hearts and love unconditionally.”
I have found such relevant understanding and lessons to be had tonight, in so many unexpected ways. I can’t help but believe that
some sense of something good,
some spirit of something pure,
is reaching out to me, and pushing me onward, and I now I really do know,
Things are gonna get better.